Complications of War
by goldistic
Summary: Matthew Casey and Gabriela Dawson served alongside each other in the army for ten years. They became each other's best friends and confidants, before she had enough of the job and moved back to Chicago. But now Casey, who happens to be coming to the end of his contract, has his options open and Chicago is one of them.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hey guys! I'm officially back with a multi-chapter story, and it's completely AU so I hope you like it. I'm not very happy with the first chapter, but it's kind of like a test run to make sure you all like it. I'll get better, I promise, and the chapters will also get longer. I just want to point out a couple of little things that are different in this story to make it easier for you all to follow along:

\- Dawson grew up in Chicago, but Casey did not. He grew up in Albany, NY and his mom is currently still in prison.

\- Shay is still dead (still not over it) but she was killed serving alongside Casey and Dawson in the army. The only other person she knew in Chicago was Severide (more on that later).

Okay, I think that's it for now, but as I develop the story more I'm sure that list will grow. I hope you all like it, but PLEASE do not be afraid to give me some constructive criticism. I want to make sure you all enjoy the story as much as possible and I'm a journalism major in college so my life kinda depends on my writing skills. Okay, that's it, enjoy!

* * *

"Jesus Christ Dawson, how did you even have the space for this in your apartment?," Casey grunted, walking backwards out the small door whilst carrying the front half of the king-size mattress. He heard Dawson chuckle a little bit as they angled the mattress through the door frame.

"A girl needs her beauty sleep," he heard her answer, the two of them finally managing to get it out the door. Casey put it down then, sighing heavily. "Hey hey! We're not done yet," Gabby exclaimed, her half of the mattress falling from her hands, unable to support it herself. He just shook his head though, surveying the hallway while his hands went to his hips.

"There's no way we're getting it down the stairs," he muttered, igniting an eyeroll from Gabby.

"Well I got it up here, so there's a way," she argued, picking up her half again. "Come on Sarg, I don't have all day." With another grunt and a few more shakes of the head, he reluctantly picked up his half and they both began maneuvering it down the narrow hallway. His antics made her roll her eyes again, but there was also a smile placed on her lips. His stubbornness was the first thing she ever noticed about him, and it annoyed her to no end. But she figured she might as well soak it up now, because she didn't know when she'd see him again and it was no secret that she was going to miss him more than anyone else.

After twenty minutes of Casey muttering to himself while they navigated themselves down the stairs and hallway, they began lifting it into the moving truck that was parked on the street. "Why the hell did we wait to make this the last thing we packed?," Casey groaned, climbing into the back of the crowded truck to better place the mattress.

"If I had a nickel for every time you complained today," Gabby remarked, pushing the mattress in its place. They both released a sigh of relief when it was over and the mattress was (sort of ) secure, and Casey hopped down from the truck.

"You know," he started, pulling down the door of the truck. "I could've just not helped you, you don't seem very appreciative." She saw a smirk on his lips, letting her know that he was joking.

"I still don't know why you won't let me pay you for all of this," she sighed, genuinely feeling bad that he had practically suffered the whole day and did it all for free. He just shook his head though, smiling at her.

"I don't want your money, Gabby," he assured her with a chuckle. "Despite my brief moments of grumpiness, I was happy to help, really. I'll take all the time with you I can get and besides, it wasn't all bad." That much was true. In reality, they should've been done moving everything out of her apartment hours ago. But they ended up going through some pictures as she packed them, each of them having their own story and he was happy to listen to all of them. He actually learned a lot about her today. The big things he had already known - her hometown, what her parents are like, what her brother is like and her nephew and niece and all of their names. But today while helping her move, he learned that her niece, Eva, was an incredible baker for her age. A picture of the two of them behind a large mixing bowl let Gabby tell him the story of how they stayed up until three in the morning one night to perfect a recipe.

He also learned that a vacation to Myrtle Beach when Gabby was seventeen was how she lost her virginity. A picture of her and Antonio at dinner one night on the beach led her to tell him all about their week there - including how she met a guy on the beach their first day. Their fifth night, she had snuck out of her hotel room to see him on the beach and they ended up drinking too much. She laughed with embarrassment as she told the story, and she made sure that Casey knew how much she regretted it. She wasn't sure why she needed him to know that, but for some reason, his judgement of her had always been important. And while Casey did his best to assure her that he didn't care about what she did at such a young age, he couldn't figure out why the image of her with someone else bothered him so much.

They also went through pictures that she had from her time in the army, and it allowed them to reminisce on the experiences they shared. They laughed together as they remembered the good times, like the soccer games they held whenever they had downtime in the scorching heat of the desert in Afghanistan. As Sergeant, he was always the team captain and she was always the first one he picked to be on his team. The guys always gave him shit for it, but hey, she was one hell of a soccer player. One day, they had a few hours of free time, a rarity in the midst of war. But they all decided to make the most of it and had a soccer tournament. Matt and Gabby's team had won, and as she had held a picture of them and the two other guys on their team, they smiled sadly on the mattress that was later going to give them hell. In the picture, they all had huge smiles on their faces as they held the makeshift trophy. All of the guys had their shirts off and Gabby was in her sports bra, all of their bodies glistening with sweat. Matt had his arm around Gabby's shoulder, and looking at the picture, she remembered just how nice that felt. She had two copies of the photo, and when he asked for the other one, she happily gave it to him. But before she handed it off, she quickly scribbled on the back: _don't forget about me!_ He had chuckled at that, knowing there was no way in hell that was going to happen.

Then they had come across a picture of Gabby and Shay. Their mood shifted instantly, and as they both stared at the picture of the two of them, Gabby couldn't help the tears as they escaped her eyes. Matt had just pulled her close, comforting her as they both replayed that day in their heads. The whole team had been called out on a mission, so they piled into three humvees and took off at four in the morning. As the two medics at camp, Gabby and Shay split up into different vehicles in case something happened. Shay took the first humvee, and Gabby took the third. As Casey and Gabby and a couple of other guys joked while they followed the other two vehicles, they heard a big explosion up ahead. Instantly, their adrenaline kicked in but it couldn't help the sinking feeling in the pit of their stomachs. It was a roadside bomb. They knew it immediately, and as the rest of the team climbed out of their now parked humvees, they seemed to forget that there could be more. The first humvee was fully engulfed in flames, lighting up the dark desert sky. Casey began barking orders as soon as he laid eyes on the sight in front of them, yelling for fire extinguishers and for someone to call backup. There was nothing they could do until the fire was out, but it was driving them all crazy, knowing that Shay and the men inside were trapped with nothing to do but burn.

By the time the fire was out, three more humvees and two helicopters full of soldiers had come to their aid. But it was too late. Shay and the three men inside were gone. There was nothing left of them. The bomb had done its job, and the fire had proven to be relentless and unforgiving. Dawson had collapsed to her knees, her medical supplies falling into the sand along with her that she hoped she'd be able to use. Casey had walked over to her, kneeled alongside her, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they both let the tears fall. They had both lost friends and brothers and a sister, and they needed each other. But still, Casey knew that Gabby needed him more. She had known Shay since high school, they had become best friends instantly and that bond only strengthened over time. After five years as a paramedic in Chicago, Shay had even enlisted, wanting to get a taste of the action Gabby constantly bragged about.

And for that, Gabby would never forgive herself. She was the reason Shay enlisted. She was the reason that Shay's life had come to an end. She believed that wholeheartedly, and no amount of trying to convince her otherwise by Casey and her other friends was going to change that. So when her and Matt came across the picture of the two of them at a fundraiser gala for the army, that guilt and sorrow came flooding back to her. She fell weak into Matt's arms, just as she had several times in the months after Shay's death. But he was there to comfort her, as always, and when she was finally back in Chicago, she was going to miss that more than anything.

So as they stood across from each other behind the moving truck, they didn't know what to do. Neither wanted to be the first to say goodbye, because then the goodbye would have to begin. They knew this day was coming, and while the both of them have been trying to prepare for it, they did not prepare for it well. It was dawning on them that this was going to be the last time they saw each other for months, and neither was okay with it.

"Make sure you call me when you get there, okay?," Casey began, his voice low and mournful. "It should only take you twelve hours and forty minutes but with traffic and rest stops...fifteen hours tops."

"You calculated it?," She asked sheepishly, a blush coloring her cheeks as she shook her head. "You are something, Matthew Casey." When he just raised his eyebrows at her, she nodded, laughing softly. "I'll call you, don't worry." There was no need to remind each other to keep in touch after that, they were already planning on texting every day.

"I'll miss you, Gabs," Casey sighed, opening his arms for a hug. Gabby walked into them sadly but contently, both of them holding onto each other with all the love they had.

"I'll miss you too," she told him. "But hey, if you ever get sick of ordering people around in the desert, there's a home for you in Chicago. I mean that." With that, he just held her a little tighter, thanking her softly. Truthfully, he had already thought about the possibility of not renewing his contract in six months. He knew he didn't want to be in the army forever, but the one thing that had held him back from not leaving sooner was that he didn't know where he'd call home. For years now, Fort Bragg has been his home. He had grown up in Albany, but he has nothing there for him anymore. His mom is in jail. His dad is dead. His sister doesn't speak to him. All of his friends are with him on base. And while he thought about moving to Chicago with Gabby, he didn't want to seem clingy or annoying. But now, maybe he just got the reassurance he needed.

Casey made sure the back of the truck was secure before following her to the driver's door. "Antonio is helping you unload everything, right?," He asked.

"Yes," she replied. "And if he complains as much as you do, I swear to God," she joked, resulting in a playful nudge from Matt. "Thank you again, though. There's no way I could've done this without you."

"My pleasure," he assured her. "Now get going, you don't want to hit rush hour in Indianapolis." He definitely didn't want her to leave, but he also wanted to make sure she was safely in Chicago as soon as possible. She nodded, taking him in one more time. His sandy blonde hair that somehow remained neat all day, his green t-shirt that his muscles peaked out of, his dark jeans that fit him just right, and those blue eyes that pulled her in immediately. She was going to miss all of it, but she knew she'd see him again. So she climbed in the truck, then starting it up and rolling the window down.

"See you soon?," she asked, her brown eyes big and hopeful.

"See you soon," he assured her, softly touching her arm that rested on the window. They swapped another pair of sad smiles before she put the truck in drive and started her road trip home.

* * *

"Okay, tell me all about your first day. I want to know everything." Matt put her on speakerphone so he could change out of his combat uniform he had been in all day. He heard her chuckle a little on the other end, making him smile.

"I'm still here," she told him. She was in the kitchen, talking in a somewhat hushed voice so she didn't disturb Mouch's programming on the TV. When she had been introduced to him earlier in the day, she repeated the name out loud, confused. The man named Otis (whose name wasn't actually Otis), explained to her that it meant half man/half couch, and she knew she was going to be fine here. "I don't get off until seven in the morning tomorrow. Twenty-four hour shifts, remember?"

"Yup," he answered, sighing as it came back to him. "I'm sorry, I can let you go."

"No need," she assured, looking through the cupboards for snacks. "We're not really doing anything at the moment. Just looking for food."

"Well," he chuckled. "They better get out of your way then, they don't want to mess with Gabriela Dawson when it comes to food."

"Hey!," she exclaimed, feigning offense. "I'll remember that."

"I don't doubt it," he laughed. "So c'mon, stop dilly dallying and tell me how your day has been so far." She grabbed a small bag of cheetos before walking out of the kitchen, not wanting to annoy any of the guys who were reading or watching TV in the common room. She headed to the bunk room, her phone still at her ear as she nodded a greeting to Brett as they walked by each other. She sat on her bunk and sighed happily, opening the bag.

"I love it here Casey," she gushed, and he could practically hear the smile on her face. "I felt at home the minute I walked through the doors. My partner on the ambo is the nicest and all of the guys seem like sweethearts. There's a guy here who they call Mouch, which literally means half man and half couch." She chuckled as she told him, leaning back in her bunk. "I haven't met the squad Lieutenant yet though, he took the day off."

"He knew what was coming," Matt teased.

"Oh whatever," Gabby answered, rolling her eyes. "How was your day?"

"Not bad. Finally got our new medic though, good thing none of the guys accidentally shot themselves this week because we would've only had one medic to deal with it." She chuckled at that. She loved them, but most of their IQs weren't the highest. Before she could answer to that though, he continued. "Hey, listen…"

"Ooo, that's intriguing," she quipped, wondering what he was getting so serious about.

"My contract is over in about six months-"

"I'm aware."

"Let me finish," Matt laughed. "I just - I don't know what to do. I met with Captain Dawkins yesterday and he said that they want me to extend my contract by three years. They think I can start racking up the merits and promotions."

"Well, that's a good thing isn't it?," Gabby questioned.

"I mean, I don't know. That's a long time."

"Your last contract was six years, Casey. _That_ was a long time. And besides, you can negotiate that. Do it for one year if you really want to. You have time to sort it out."

"Well, there's more," Matt sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Keep going then," she rushed, her attention piquing. Why the hell was he so hesitant on all of this?

"They're harping me on the contract now because they want to send us to the middle east for another tour."

"Oh," she said simply. At his words, her heart sank. It was a weird feeling, she couldn't describe it exactly. The thought of Casey and the rest of the team doing a tour had her heart twisted. She suddenly lost her appetite and pushed her cheetos to the side, thinking about how long they would be gone for. Tours were at least six months long but could be up to four years, and it was weird how they were already warning Casey about his contract. It made her feel like it'd be a long time, definitely not on the six months side. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temple with her free hand, trying to sort out her emotions. She was definitely solemn and her heart felt like it was suddenly missing something. And she was scared. God, she was so scared. She hated how scared she was. Every time she went overseas, she begged her family and friends not to worry and she couldn't understand why she couldn't convince them that she'd be fine. Well, she understood now. Casey had been on tours before, but ever since she'd known him, she'd been _with_ him. Now she wasn't, and now she wouldn't have any idea about where they'd be and what they'd be doing. She wouldn't know if they'd be safe. If _he'd_ be safe. God, she hated this feeling. "Gabs?," he wondered after a stretch of silence.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the bells beat her to it. " _Ambulance sixty-one, man down from unknown causes. Forty-three Wabash"_

"I gotta go," Gabby told him hastily, hanging up before he had a chance to say goodbye. She rushed to the ambulance, trying her hardest to push her fears out of her mind. She was still on her first shift, she had a job to do and people to impress. She couldn't be thinking about her old job or her new concerns thanks to that old job. She decided that from now until seven tomorrow morning, her only focus would be on 61.

Meanwhile, Casey sighed heavily as he looked at his phone, which now displayed his home screen instead of the call he had just been on. It ended a bit before he would've liked, but he had heard the bells and understood. As he grabbed a beer from his fridge, he opened up his messages and decided to just send Gabby a text.

 _Hey, sorry, I know that was kind of a big bomb to drop. Call me when you can, I have more meetings tomorrow morning and a couple of hours of training after that. But I'll be home by three._

He sent it, but immediately starting crafting another message, ignoring the thought of her teasing him for the double texts.

 _Also, I'm really happy you're happy there. That firehouse is damn lucky to have a medic like you._

"Oh my God, what does he want?," Gabby exclaimed, pulling out her phone after the second buzz. Brett looked over at her with eyebrows raised, honking the horn simultaneously. They were stuck on Wabash, which is where they needed to be, but still miles from the exact address. Traffic was at its peak of the day, and no amount of honking or sirens were going to change that. "Oh, he's sweet," Gabby said then, her voice softer than what it was a few seconds before. She put her phone back away as she sighed, leaning her head against the back of the seat. Brett looked over at her again, this time chuckling. She honked one more time, but her attempt was futile and she grabbed the radio and called main to tell them to send another ambo.

"Copy that 61," a voice says back, and Brett turned off the sirens.

"Boyfriend troubles?," She asks then, turning her head towards Dawson.

"Oh, no," Gabby replies, laughing a little at the thought. Matthew Casey, her boyfriend? Right, like that would ever happen. "Friend troubles, I guess. But he didn't even do anything wrong. He just...I don't know, it's complicated and kind of a long story."

Brett gestures towards the traffic, laughing. "I got time, girl, and I am dying for some gossip. Those guys give me nothing!" Dawson laughed then too, nodding.

"Okay okay," she surrendered. "Where the hell do I start with Matthew Casey…"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thank you all so so so much for reviewing, following, and favoriting! I'm glad some of you guys seem to remember me, although I'm sorry that my reputation includes killing our favorite characters. But hey, it makes me feel like Shonda Rhimes, so I can live with that. I promise though, for the most part, this story will be happier. I got this chapter done pretty quickly but I have to warn you, I am usually not this hasty. But without further ado, here is chapter two. Keep reviewing and tell me your thoughts!

* * *

She hated being adventurous. Well, that wasn't completely true. She liked spontaneity, she dreamed of seeing new places, and she did enlist pretty out of the blue. But despite that, she hated trying new foods, she hated going anywhere but her most trusted restaurants, she hated new gyms, and yup, she really hated trying new wines.

She was loyal to her red wine. She was a cabernet girl at heart, always had been, and planned on sticking to it forever. She didn't care that it stained her teeth, or how many carbs or calories it had. It was worth it to her. A bottle (or two) of cabernet had been her saving grace too many times to count, especially when she was in the army. It had done its job on every occasion, no matter what that occasion was. Whether she needed to let loose with Shay and dance the night away, or if she needed to drown her sorrows after Shay was gone, red wine was there for her.

So in the locker room after shift was over, when the girls started gushing about their favorite wines, Gabby didn't hold anything back. She talked about cabernet as if her life depended on it, much to Brett and Kidd's amusement. Brett tried to reach that level of passion when she went on about rosè, but the other two women weren't convinced.

"No, you guys have _got_ to try marsala," Stella had told them, her slight accent aiding her emphasis.

"Never heard of it," Brett admitted innocently.

"Isn't that a cooking wine?," Gabby questioned, her face scrunching in confusion.

"Nuh uh," Stella went on. "They make 'em for drinkin' too. Try it, I doubt you'll ever go back. In fact, I'm gonna go get a bottle for Kelly and I tonight." Will that, she had left the locker room, swinging her bag over her shoulder and leaving Gabby and Brett the last two to leave.

"Kelly?," Gabby wondered then, forgetting about the wine for now.

"Her roommate, maybe her boyfriend too, we don't really know. But he's also the squad lieutenant. Kelly Severide is his full name," Brett answered, closing the door to her locker. Gabby had frozen at the sound of that name, cursing in her head, and knowing exactly why he hadn't come to work. It was because of her. Yup, she was going to need some wine tonight too.

So now, hours later, here she was, in her brand new living room that still had a few boxes yet to be unpacked. It was about nine-thirty at night, and she could see some of the city lights from her window. Her brand new bottle of wine sat on her coffee table, and although she hated admitting it, it was a bottle of marsala. Earlier that day, as she roamed the liquor store, something had come over her and she thought she'd try something new. New home, new her, right? Plus, the cabernet wasn't on sale, the marsala was. In the end, the decision to change up her wine had been too easy, and she even felt a little guilty for it.

But the first sip of marsala had her regretting everything. God, that wine was strong. Even too strong for her. Stella must be on some other level to enjoy this regularly. Kudos to her, but not Gabby's taste. She emptied her glass down her kitchen sink and put the rest of the wine away, mentally noting to herself to give it to Stella when she had the chance. She went back into the living room then, walking over to the window that gave her a beautiful view of the city. She crossed her arms over the loose hanging army t-shirt she wore, and released a sigh.

Kelly Severide.

Shay's other best friend, whom Gabby had met at her funeral. They didn't exchange the warmest of greetings, to say the least. Kelly had basically blamed her for Shay's death, and although the man was clearly in pain and very distraught, she could tell he meant what he said to her that day. Their brief but cold encounter had left Gabby with more grief and guilt, which she didn't think was possible until it happened. The fact that the guy had felt like he needed to skip work because he knew she was starting told her that he still hadn't forgiven her, which wasn't much of a surprise.

She wanted to talk to Matt about it, she wanted to call him and vent and share her worries about the two of them working together. But that was another problem. She didn't want to talk to Matt because she was still scared, scared about the prospect of him leaving for months without any communication at all from him. She was afraid if she called him now, he would tell her that he renewed his contract and would definitely be leaving. She would rather live in the state of uncertainty than live in a panic every day until she knew he was home safe. She really didn't know how her parents did it, or the rest of her family for that matter.

She rested her forehead against the cool glass of the window, bringing relief to her warm body. Her apartment was too dark. The lighting was dim. She had to get new light bulbs, and meant to do that today after shift but her mind had been all over the place. It was also too quiet. Her TV still wasn't hooked up, Antonio would be coming over tomorrow to tackle that and a couple of other things. But right now, the combination of the darkness and the silence was beginning to drive her a little stir crazy. She began thinking, thinking about her tours overseas. She couldn't help it or stop it, she had learned to know that by now. The lights of the city were starting to blur so she closed her eyes, and images immediately began popping into her head.

It was Private Weston. It was his first tour, two months in, and he was only twenty years old. A land mine had detonated one-hundred feet away from him, resulting in him fighting for his life. Gabby had been the main medic, and all she can remember is how still he was. Unlike other patients she had in the past, Weston was surprisingly calm. His eyes blinked but they stared tranquilly at the roof of the helicopter that they'd been in. It was somewhat haunting, like he knew what was coming. He had fragments from the mine all over his body, metal and other foreign objects had become a part of him. His left arm had almost no skin left, and Gabby remembers how careful she had to be when covering the exposed flesh. There was blood everywhere from the fragments and metal, his hair was knotted and caked with the red bodily fluid. His left ear was halfway gone. He already had burns that were separating his skin. Gabby remembers yelling at him, pleading for him to react in some way to her. But he just kept staring and blinking in an eerie perfect pattern. He must have been in so much pain, but yet, he had no reaction. His body wouldn't even flinch when she applied pressure to a new wound. For the fifteen minutes she had treated him in that helicopter, he didn't even make a noise. She thought he might've been in shock, but his bodies showed no other signs of it. Just his silence. No yelps of pain, no screams of agony, and no words. And then, all too suddenly, he stopped blinking, and his eyes had a newfound emptiness to them that she can never forget. He was gone.

Gabby opened her eyes, realizing just how fast her heart had started beating. Her cheeks were soaked with her tears she didn't know she had shed. And she had trouble catching her breath, she felt like she had just ran a 5k and she was growing extremely lightheaded. Her body's actions were making her uneasy, and she rested her hand over her heart, trying to calm herself down. But she was sweating she realized then, and in a haste she took off her shirt and rested her back against the cool window. The sudden remedy let her release a sigh of relief, and she focused on getting her breath back. She breathed in and out, closing her eyes again. She thought of Eva and Diego, knowing they were the ones who could pull her out of this. She thought of their innocence and their bright smiles, she thought about baking with Eva and playing catch with Diego. She took one last deep breath and opened her eyes then, noticing her heart had slowed back down and her breathing was steady again. She was also cooling back down, she could tell because the window was growing more chilly on her bare skin.

She stepped away from the window and began moving quickly around her apartment, turning on every light that wasn't already on. She unlocked her phone and opened up her music, playing The Weeknd's latest album and letting his voice fill her apartment. Then she stood there, in the middle of her living room in just a bra and a pair of sweatpants. She went over what just happened, trying to come with grips with it even though it embarrassed her. She knew what it was. She just didn't believe it, just like every other time it happened. It wasn't her first anxiety attack, just her first one in Chicago. She had hoped they would stop when she got out of Fort Bragg, when she left the reminders of war and loss. She knew it wasn't PTSD, she had seen way too much of that to know that's not what she was going through. But that's why she left when she did, to make sure her occasional anxiety attack didn't turn into anything more serious.

Although, she realized that's another reason why Matt possibly going on another tour scared the living hell out of her. The fear of physical trauma was horrifying to her enough, but she knew emotional trauma was just as common these days and more difficult to not only diagnose, but also heal from. She's seen the disease ruin lives, relationships, and careers, and she didn't know what she'd do if someone close to her ever had it.

She walked back over to the window then, picking her shirt up from the floor and putting it back over her body. She began slowly pacing the room, pushing her anxiety attack out of her mind and started thinking about Matt and if she should call him. She realized today was the first day she had ever gone without talking to him, and she didn't like it. But she was tired, her body had burned a lot of energy with what just happened and she knew she could fall asleep right now if she really tried. But the thought of missing out on Matt's day depressed her, the two always talked about the events of their days and he was usually the last person she talked to before she fell asleep at night. She had a feeling that despite her tiredness, she wouldn't get a peaceful night of sleep unless they talked things over. She needed to be in his life, and if that meant enduring the possibility of him being in the midst of war again, then she'd be the friend he needed and do that.

So she turned off The Weeknd's relaxing vocals and turned off all of the lights in the living room and kitchen before heading into her bedroom for the night. She turned on the bedside lamp and plugged her phone into its charger, quickly checking herself in her mirror. Her hair was in a messy bun, and she fixed some flyaways before bringing her attention to her eyes. She wanted to make sure there was no sign of crying, she didn't want to worry Matt or get into what happened earlier. Nobody knows about her anxiety attacks, not even Matt, and that wasn't something she wanted to change tonight. She could deal with it, she was certain of that. So once she was sure she looked decent enough, she climbed into bed and made herself comfortable between the sheets. She picked up her phone from the bedside table and opened up Matt's contact info, clicking the FaceTime option. She realized it was after ten, but it would be later on the east coast, and she hoped she wasn't calling too late. But before she could worry any further about it, the sound of him answering the call filled her ears.

"It's about time, Dawson, jeez." His voice was groggy but she could tell he hadn't fallen asleep yet because his eyes still looked somewhat alert. He had a light on, but it was dim like hers and he looked like he was in the same position in bed as she was. His hair was a mess, like he had taken a shower a few hours before and just ran a towel through it as a drying strategy. He looked like a mess basically, but she admired it and thought it was charming.

"Hey," she answered softly, a small smile forming on her lips. "I'm sorry I called so late, I forgot it would be later there. I can let you go if you-"

"No way." He cut her off before she had the chance to finish. "I want to talk to you, Gabs." That made her smile grow and in turn, a smile of his own shaped his lips. "How was your day?"

"Oh god," she groaned, shaking her head. "You'll never believe what I did."

"What?," he asked, amused by her answer but also intrigued.

"I tried a new wine." She laughed softly as she said it, and watched as his eyes grew wide.

"You mean something other than cabernet? Unbelievable, I don't know what Chicago is doing to you." His smile widened, and she rolled her eyes at the hint of sarcasm. "How disappointed were you?"

"Oh, don't even get me started. One of the girls at the firehouse recommended it and it was way too strong for me, she's pretty hardcore. It was marsala," she told him.

"Uh, I'm no chef but marsala as in marsala chicken? Like, a cooking wine?" His eyebrows had scrunched in confusion and she took a subconscious moment to recognize how cute and innocent he looked.

"Exactly," she said matter-of-fact, laughing lightly. "I had one sip and I was done. I am going back to cab tomorrow."

"Well I hope your reconciliation is peaceful," Matt joked. "So did anything else happen today or was it just your wine identity crisis?"

"You got jokes for being half asleep," she noted, resulting in a proud shrug from Matt. "But no, that wasn't it. Hey, do you remember Kelly Severide?" She bit her lip after she asked, knowing the last time his name was brought up it didn't elicit the best reaction from him.

"Oh yeah, the dick that made you feel like shit? What about him?" The grogginess from his voice had disappeared, now completely attentive to the conversation.

"He had a point," she muttered quietly. "Well, he's the squad lieutenant that I told you about yesterday. I apparently work with him."

"He didn't have a 'point', Gabby," Matt defended. "He was a complete asshole to you. But seriously, he's at the same firehouse?" He sighed, feeling a bit defeated at the fact. He never even met the guy, he only knew what Gabby told him but he wasn't impressed with that. He felt bad for her, that she'd have to be reminded of Shay and her guilt every time she walked into work. It wasn't fair, and it made him uneasy.

"Yup," she answered simply. "But I'll be fine, I can handle myself."

"I know you can, but it doesn't mean you should have to deal with it."

"Well I do," she sighed. "Plus, everyone else at the firehouse is great. I get along with everyone, I'm sure I'll barely even see him or have to deal with him. If he's professional, which he should be, everything will be fine."

He reluctantly accepted that, but still wasn't completely convinced. "But you'll tell me if he says anything else, right?"

"Yes," she promised, grateful of how gentle yet protective he was. "So uh, we should address the elephant in the room."

"Yeah," he agreed, sighing heavily. "I had another meeting with Dawkins today and he could tell how apprehensive I was being so he came up with a temporary solution."

"And?" She questioned, her eyes narrowing in concentration and curiosity.

"He suggested that I take a short leave. Four days, just to gather my thoughts and talk to whoever I need to talk to. Then I come back, and we negotiate some more. He's willing to shorten the contract if that's what I really want."

"Did he say anything about the tour?," she asked.

"Not really, just that the sooner I decide the better so they can get everything in order."

She released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, and nodded at his words. "Okay," she commented, a million different scenarios running through her head. "So wait, four days? When? Where are you going to go?"

"Well," he started awkwardly, not sure how to word his question. "I don't really have anywhere to go, but I do want to get out of Fort Bragg, so I was just wondering if there's any chance I could come to Chicago? I know you just moved, and I don't want to put you out, so I can get a hotel-"

"Casey I'm not letting you get a hotel room," Gabby laughed. "You're staying with me, it has been decided." She was smiling, smiling wide. She was excited now, excited to show her best friend the city she grew up in. She was excited to spend time with him in general, to watch movies on her couch and drink wine or beer or whatever. She would just have to make sure Antonio hooked up her TV...

"Thank you Dawson," he told her, a weight obviously being lifted off his shoulders. "My leave starts Monday so I'll start looking for plane tickets tomorrow. Thank you so much."

"Perfect, I'm off on Monday so I can pick you up from the airport. No need to thank me, it's the least I can do, really." They smiled at each other then, soft but sincere smiles, just to tell each other they're grateful for one another.

They kept talking for over an hour, discussing the calls Gabby had been on during her first shift and the wacky personality of the new medic on Casey's team. They talked about Chicago and what they could fit in the four days he'd be there, evoking debate between the two of them. Gabby insisted on seeing the bean, but he tried to convince her he didn't need to go to any tourist traps. She also wanted to take him to Willis Tower, but once again, he argued he didn't want to be a stereotypical tourist. However, he did agree to the Navy Pier, which wasn't as much of a fight as Gabby anticipated. In the end though, they decided to take it day by day and make the most of it. She would also be on shift the second day he'd be there, so they had to figure out what he could do during that time. But by the time they'd gotten to that point, they had both been yawning for a considerable amount of time and decided to call it a night. Neither wanted to hang up, especially after their stretch of silence for the whole day, but Matt had to get up at five the next morning to train so he thought sleeping would be the smartest option. They exchanged their goodnights, and after hanging up, they both had a content smile on their faces as they fell asleep.

* * *

"Okay, who are you seeing?" Antonio widened his eyes at his sister, mouth agape. She just stared back, a smug but confident look on her face. She knew her brother way too well, her brother that wasn't usually this smiley or laid back or talkative. It had actually been years since she'd seen him like this, and after his divorce with Laura, she wondered if she'd ever see this side of him again. But yet here he was, her usual edgy brother had been replaced with a softer version of himself and one that smiled way too much for his own good. He was giddy, and if she wasn't so happy for him she'd probably be a little uncomfortable.

"Um, excuse me?," He tried, thankful he wasn't sipping his beer when she asked him. Gabby just raised her eyebrows though, and he knew he wasn't getting out of this one. "Why can't I just be happy my sister is finally back in town?"

"Oh good try," she answered with a roll of her eyes. "This is a different kind of happy, like you got laid last night."

"Ugh, Gabby!," he groaned, rubbing his face. She chuckled at his newfound misery, sipping her beer as she leaned casually on the kitchen island. He sat on a stool on the other side, shaking his head from the torment. They were done with their duties for the day, the TV was up and running and he even did her the favor of replacing all of her light bulbs. While he had tackled the technical stuff, she spent the day unpacking the scattered boxes around her living room. She was happy with how everything turned out, the apartment had a homier (and brighter) feel to it and she felt much more comfortable than she had since she'd moved in. She hoped that it would help prevent any future anxiety attacks. While Antonio talked her ear off about this and that, she hung up the pictures that her and Matt had gone through the week before. The memory made her smile at the time, and she was growing more excited about him spending a few days in Chicago.

"That doesn't sound like denial," Gabby teased, smiling at her brother. He sighed heavily, fiddling with his beer bottle as he avoided eye contact.

"Her name is Sylvie," he told her softly.

"I work with a Sylvie," Gabby noted off hand. She saw his shoulders drop then, and he kept looking anywhere but at her. Her mouth dropped instantly, putting the pieces together rather quickly for being three beers in. "No. Freaking. Way." She began laughing, the sound filling the apartment as she threw her head back and clutched her chest. He finally looked at her, giving her a less than impressed facial expression. "I'm sorry," she breathed, still laughing but catching her breath as her hair fell in front of her face. She subconsciously brushed it out of the way as she looked at him, which only made her start up again.

"Alright, I'm leaving," Antonio commented, only half joking.

"No," Gabby told him, doing her best to compose herself. "I'll be good, I promise."

"Right," her brother scoffed, his hoarse voice replacing her diminishing laughter.

"You and Sylvie Brett." Gabby ignored him, still smiling widely as she tried to picture the two as a couple. Quirky, she noted to herself. But she was sweet and kind, and she had an innocence to her that was rare to find in a ruthless city like Chicago. She was good for him, as she imagined he was good for her. Granted, she had only spent one shift with Brett, but she could see the couple balancing each other out perfectly. "I like it," Gabby told her brother honestly. She looked at him with sincere eyes, and he gave her a smile of appreciation.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." They raised their beer bottles, sharing a 'cheers' before they each had a sip.

"So what about you? That Casey guy make a move yet?" Antonio had been convinced for years that the two had a thing for each other, despite never meeting Matt. But the way his sister talked about him, the way she lit up and automatically smiled, he just knew. And God, the stories that she told him, it was so obvious that they were into each other. He wondered how he could know that but neither of them could, and he had never seen them together. It was crazy to him, but the siblings read each other well and neither could deny it.

"Would you just give up on that?," Gabby asked sheepishly, looking away from him. "We're just friends. And hell, he was my _boss_."

"Not anymore," Antonio noted with a shrug.

"He's uh, he's coming to visit me actually," Gabby confessed with a small smile, looking back to her brother. He widened his eyes at that, a smile coming to his features as well.

"No freakin' way! I can finally meet the dude! And I am meeting him, don't try to hide him from me. Is he stayin' here? I'll be over every night!" She lightly hit his shoulder then, trying to put a stop to that idea and his newfound eagerness. "I know!," he exclaimed then. "Double date, Sylvie and I and you and Casey. Perfect, I'm a genius."

"Whoa whoa whoa," Gabby cautioned, putting her arms up as a way to tell him to slow it down. "First of all, it's not a 'double date'. Second of all, it's a short visit, he's only here for four days."

"And…?" Antonio failed to see the problem. She tried to come up with an excuse, some way to get out of it. But three beers were not on her side at the moment, and she threw her arms up in surrender.

"Okay, fine," she sighed.

"That's what I thought," he celebrated happily. "I'll make reservations at Boka, just tell me when." He suddenly had another epiphany, gesturing proudly. "Then, we'll go to Molly's!" She gave him a confused look, wondering what was so profound about 'Molly's'. "Molly's!," he exclaimed again, his excitement only growing. "C'mon, I've told you about this place! A couple of guys you work with opened it up about five or six years ago, it's a bar that all the firemen and police go to. Oh, and now there are some doctors that hang around too. It's an awesome environment, you'll love it." While Gabby loved torturing her brother on many occasions, she just did not have the heart to say no to him after all of his excitement.

"Okay, okay," she chuckled, nodding. "We'll go, I'll talk to Matt then I'll give you a specific day."

"Sounds great to me, sis," he smiled. He looked at his watch then, an urgent expression instantly taking over his features. "Shit, I'm late. I told Sylvie I'd pick her up and take her to dinner. I gotta go." He grabbed his coat that hung over one of the stools, leaning over the island to peck his sister's cheek goodbye.

"Are you okay to drive?"

"Yeah, unlike some people I can contain myself," he teased, quickly putting his jacket on. "See ya soon, and don't forget to give me a day!"

* * *

Today was the day. She had been stressing out about this day more than she ever wanted to and would ever admit, and it caused her to lose some much needed sleep last night. She tried to prep herself, she ran through possible scenarios and conversations in her head for hours on end. And of course, she only thought the worst, causing her to stress out and lose even more sleep.

Today, she'd have to confront none other than Kelly Severide. Gabby imagined that he would be stone cold, show no emotion, and avoid eye contact at all costs. She also imagined him yelling at her again, in front of the whole firehouse, making everyone hate her. Of course, she knew that the latter was probably not very likely, but she wasn't convinced of that at one in the morning. But in an attempt to ease her worries, she tried to remember the stories Shay told her about him, stories that painted him as a very likable and humble man.

It didn't help. Because all Gabby _really_ knew about him was that day at Shay's funeral, where he spoke his mind and told her everything she was already thinking.

 _Deep breaths, Gabby. You got this. He's human, not a psycho monster that's going to ruin your life._ Her thought seemed to help, and she shrugged to herself before taking one last deep breath and getting out of her car. She swung her bag over her shoulder as she crossed the street to the firehouse, looking casually at the squad table. He wasn't there, but that didn't mean anything. Moving on. She smiled a greeting to Herrmann, the truck Lieutenant, as she walked by him in the hallway and then again to Capp as she rounded the corner. Capp was an interesting man, she had quickly found that out during her first shift.

She opened the doors to the locker room and walked over to her locker, beginning to get changed. It didn't take her long, and she was soon back on her way out to the common room. As she rounded the same corner she saw Capp at moments before, she tightened her ponytail and then - thump.

A body that had been racing around the corner crashed into her, and it took her stumbling back a few steps. She probably would've fallen right on her ass, but the man's arm had reached out to steady her just in time. "Oh Jesus, I'm sorry." He apologized, and she was about to passively tell him it was okay, but as she looked up she froze.

"Hi," she said instead, her brown eyes wide in surprise. Well, this was not one of the scenarios she'd imagined when seeing Kelly Severide.


End file.
